 When Toby was born I thought he had Down’s syndrome. After a
few hours I asked the sister to check him out. She left the room with him
and a few minutes later brought him back in. I asked her outright, ‘He
looks like he has down’s syndrome to me. What do you think?’ Immediately
he said simply, ‘Yes, I think so. We’ll do a blood test and find
out.’
Immediately I shouted across the room to his dad, ‘He’s got
Downs!’ All the other mothers I noticed grabbing their little ones,
glancing at me and turning away. But I felt no sorrow then. I felt chuffed
about my new baby, my birth experience and my son’s safe arrival.
I spent the rest of the day in shock. The world became very small as I
focussed on his needs and nothing else. But I didn’t know how to
tell my family.
Toby was born at 4am and I didn’t call anyone until 10pm that night.
It was my sister I called first. She answered the phone. I said, ‘I’ve
had a baby’ and then spent the next 10 minutes crying so hard it
hurt. I couldn’t even speak. Finally I managed to tell her. She
said, ‘Oh, I thought you were going to say he’s died.’
To be honest I have not found it difficult to come to terms with Toby
as he is now. But I wanted to know about the future too. I wanted to
meet other people with older Down’s children. And that’s
why I contacted Face 2 Face. I thought if I could find someone who’d
been there and done it, it would help me sort things out and not worry
so much.
And it worked. I only met my befriender maybe six or seven times and spoke
on the phone a few times too. It was enough to make me see a future for
my son by talking through some of the anxieties and feelings that I felt
uncomfortable talking to a professional about. It helped me to feel emotionally
stronger in myself. I know it won't be easy but I do know that I can
cope and that we can have a good life as a family.
|
