Tommy’s mum, Ruth, was devastated when the doctors said
her son had cerebral palsy. She admits she was struggling to cope, until
her
health visitor mentioned Face 2 Face.
 I find it quite difficult to remember the events surrounding Tommy’s
diagnosis. It is something I have locked away in a dark corner of my
mind. After the consultant said those two devastating words, cerebral
palsy, the rest of the interview with her is a complete blank.
Afterwards I do
remember the overwhelming feelings of shock and disbelief.
I would not face up to the fact he had this disability, although
at that time I had no idea what it meant for him or us. I
thought: ‘Why didn’t he die in SCBU? He has no
future whatsoever.’
I refused to tell anyone that he had cerebral palsy, including my mother,
with whom I usually share everything. I did not want people judging him,
or writing him off as some kind of ‘vegetable’.
I refused to read anything about cerebral palsy. One day I plucked up
the courage to pick up a book about it in WHSmiths. After the first sentence
the shop started to spin. I had to leave. Every day I prayed for a sign
that he was, after all, like every other child.
I cannot say when acceptance finally took hold but I know that Face 2
Face played a major role.
My health visitor told me about it. I didn’t want to read books
but somehow talking to another parent – someone who has been through
it too – was something I wanted to do.
Face 2 Face put me in touch with Pauline. It’s not like we became
best friends or anything, but the way she listened and her non-judgemental
friendliness made it easy to tell her how I was feeling. I asked questions
in a way I never had before.
We met maybe 5-6 times and spoke a few times on the phone. She answered
my questions and made me see there was a way forward, and that I was
not helpless – there was so much I could do.
Tommy is everything to me and his dad. I cannot imagine a life without
him. Face 2 Face helped me get here. But most of all I thank Tommy every
day for getting me through this terrible time in my life.
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